Her Parting Words
by KHwhitelion
Summary: Pre-season 9. "With you gone, what am I supposed to do?"


**This was written on a whim during one of my free blocks; to save myself from going mad with boredom.**

**It's kinda short, but I haven't written any Scrubs fanfiction for quite a while, so I thought, why not?**

**Oh, this takes place sometime after season 8, but before season 9.**

**I hope you all enjoy this!**

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When I first received your wedding invitation, my first instinct had been to rip it up. To shred it into tiny little pieces and then FedEx it to you. I probably _would _have done it too, if I hadn't already been cursing myself for getting mad in the first place._ I'm not that girl_, I made myself repeat, _I don't give a damn about that kind of thing_.

I've never bothered getting to know the feminine side of my brain--you should know that more than anyone. I mean, what's the point? All it does is open up a materialistic world run by hormones, and faulty diets. Let me tell you, If I want that kind of headache I'll just show up for work drunk. It's the same thing.

Yet you forced me to pry open that door with the crowbar--as I like to call it--of empathy. The one thing I thought I had forever protected myself against and you go and throw it up in my face.

Like you really know what's best for me.

Well, you don't.

And you don't know _me_, either.

You don't know, for example, that I tried my best to take your advice, even if it made me sick to my stomach.

You don't know that I really didn't mind following you around, even if it went against my better judgment of kicking your ass for it.

You don't know that I lost sleep trying to diagnose difficult patient cases because I couldn't take seeing their elusive illnesses gang up and stress you out all the time.

You don't know how....abandoned....I felt the day you up and left.

I don't know if you knew this, but I'd come to rely on you as my....well, as my mentor--and no, not that stray puppy thing you had going on with Dr. Cox. I don't care if you gave me a nickname, I will _not _put myself on that....never mind.

What I mean is that, for me, you were kinda my guiding influence, you know?

The one I knew I could always turn to if I had a problem, or needed advice.

You were the one person to make me believe I really could be the kind of doctor I'd fantasized about becoming since I was a little girl. All I needed was that first push, that first baby step to open my eyes. To put me in a very uncomfortable situation in order to overcome and learn from it.

You could see that: I couldn't. Which is why I lost my temper the day you almost gave up on me.

I know I'm not feminine.

I know I'm not all warm and fuzzy to be around.

But I'm still young....still in need of guidance.

I'm not ready to stand on my own just yet.

Coming from me, it sounds odd; of all the "murderers"--as Dr. Cox puts it--in this hospital, most people assume I'm the one girl who can handle anything. Don't get me wrong, I love how most people know not to mess with me....

I just wish--sometimes--they could see me the way you did.

I mean, with you gone, what am I supposed to do? Who am I supposed to go to when I need advice? I can't taint the image so many have of me in their minds: it keeps them out of my hair, which is something I will _never _trade. But I don't know if I'm ready to take off my training wheels and ride my career big girl style.

Guess I'll have to trust you know what you're doing....even if I don't want to let you go. Standing here, watching you and Dr. Reid exchange vows, it hits me. This is real. It's time to say goodbye to the days I thought would always be. To the mentor I had hoped would steer me through my intern years and help mold me into that great doctor you said I could be.

And....and if this really is it, well, I guess there's nothing left to say but thank you. Thank you for taking me under your wing. I hope, despite your new life, with your new job and your new wife, that I'll continue to make you proud.

Because I'll still be doing my best, even if you aren't around to see it.  
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**Like I said; short. But this idea just wouldn't leave me alone.**

**I like to think there's some deeper meaning behind JD and Denise's relationship. Call me crazy, which I am! Besides, these two are my favorite male and female characters.**

**TTFN!**


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